you right about richard holbrooke. the diplomat. he died. memorial service. one of his sons talked about his father and said, i'm quoting you, his father wasn't around to teach him to throw a ball or to watch his games but as he grew older he realized holbrooke's absence was the presence of saving people around the world, a price worth paying. i think your point was, as a woman i read that and said, gosh, if the roles were reversed, the perception would be she was a bad mother, she was selfish, she was a failure. even though she was out saving the world. now, how do we change that? because that seems to be society and how we raise boys and girls to think about parenting. >> yes. and there i think you partly many, many more men, as are happening, are making the same choices, to spend more time. so that you think about this as a work/life balance for men and women. but there are still lots of stereotypes we have to change. why do we talk about working mothers and not working fathers? >> right, that's a good point. >> that's a pretty basic point. if you started